Urgh. I honestly hate these kinds of nightmares where they tug at my insecurities from every angle. They tend to fuck me up real good when I thought that nothing in the world could stop me.
The first of which was about what could have been with someone that I was seeing for a bit. It brought back fond memories of intimacy but it was a bittersweet feeling. It felt real, like everything didn't matter and it was just the two of us. Waking up only to realize that it wasn't the case just broke me. Things are rather complicated with said person at the moment.
Then came the night after having that nightmare. I dreamt of being close to another but ended up rejecting it because I wasn't sure of where I am at with said person. It sucks so much because I know that I deserve better than whatever the hell I am being treated as of right now. It got me thinking that I don't like the situation.
Last night was fucked up. I dreamt that I encountered a weird bug that allowed me to see some pictures into some social media thing. Basically they were pictures of said person sleeping with someone else and I just lost it and just wanted to get out of that nightmare. Sigh
Just when I thought that I'm going well and dreams like these fuck up my mind. I just can't...
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